For Raja

I don’t know how to live without dogs.

My spirit needs

bad manners

unrestrained joy

eyes full of trust

cold noses in the morning

As a little girl

I would whisper future plans

into a wolf dogs lazy ear
we’d both smile

in the way that animals do

teeth bared to everyone

but the pack

My dog and I don’t lie to each other.

I tell her secrets and

She tells me she wants more

breakfast

I tell her

today

we will be putting you down

the same way I wanted to put myself down

all those years ago

but we got through that

together.

Remember that, girl?

good girl

good girl

Dogs will teach you everything

you need to know

about how to love

they will not exaggerate

their dedication

they will love you exactly

as you deserve

What happens to the dog

when the little girl grows up?

Stops tying bandanas and bows

around furry head

invites boys into her bed instead

the girl goes on

needing her dog

and her dog waits for her to come home.

So now I take care of her

the way she always took care of me

and I try to love others

the way she always loved me

A dog will die today

just like every day.

It doesn’t feel like every day

to me.

What happens to the girl

when the dog dies?

the girl goes on

needing her dog

and her dog waits for her to come home.

"Wolves"

Click the image below to read "Wolves" in Oyster River Pages' 2017 issue.

How terrifying it is
to watch yourself grow
feel your body take up more space
than ever before

your chest swells
with all the words
you're finally ready to say

You see each phase of yourself
all more beautiful than the last
grow
shrink
grow again

You are everchanging
with curve
and crescent
just like the moon

and isn't that womanhood?
stretching yourself
across the sky
just because you can

Sometimes Love surprises you

when you find it waiting
in the pocket of those awful jeans
you bought when you were in high school
and that concert ticket falls out
you're grateful for one of the few memories
that hasn't faded

or when you find Love slow dancing in the living room
of your first apartment
to a song that isn't a slow dance song
but you dance anyway

or when Love gripped you quick, fast
on that hike
on that trail that was full of broken branches
fallen leaves
and you couldn't breathe in without
Love filling your lungs

or when Love slipped under your tongue
while you were drinking your coffee
and there wasn't enough chicory in the world
to wash away the taste of him

or- or that time Love found you kneeling
clung to the dirt under your finger nails
as you planted seeds you weren't sure would grow
and ain't that the best Love
the kind that's full of the unsure and the surprise and the effort
to dig, plant
dig, plant
and hope

Student Says

Mrs. Cole sometimes its hard to talk to people
because I talk weird
walk weird
I hope you understand me
Does this make sense, Mrs. Cole?
It's just that my brain is different
Does this sound good, Mrs. Cole?

His hand shakes
waits for me to tell him he's good enough
because to him, I'm good enough

He drinks in the conversation
lived enough of his life in thirst
to savor a kind word

I try not to hate the people
that made him doubt his voice

3.31

there are a thousand ways to be woman
right now I am the kind that knows you are looking
eyes roaming my pages
for your story

3.29

there are a thousand ways to be a woman
or really, only 3

right now i am the maiden
and i am treading
along the edges of your flesh
the winged future nestled in my breast

right now i am the mother
bound to anyone selfish enough
to need me

right now i am the crone
and everything she has lived
and lost