How terrifying it is
to watch yourself grow
feel your body take up more space
than ever before

your chest swells
with all the words
you're finally ready to say

You see each phase of yourself
all more beautiful than the last
grow
shrink
grow again

You are everchanging
with curve
and crescent
just like the moon

and isn't that womanhood?
stretching yourself
across the sky
just because you can

Sometimes Love surprises you

when you find it waiting
in the pocket of those awful jeans
you bought when you were in high school
and that concert ticket falls out
you're grateful for one of the few memories
that hasn't faded

or when you find Love slow dancing in the living room
of your first apartment
to a song that isn't a slow dance song
but you dance anyway

or when Love gripped you quick, fast
on that hike
on that trail that was full of broken branches
fallen leaves
and you couldn't breathe in without
Love filling your lungs

or when Love slipped under your tongue
while you were drinking your coffee
and there wasn't enough chicory in the world
to wash away the taste of him

or- or that time Love found you kneeling
clung to the dirt under your finger nails
as you planted seeds you weren't sure would grow
and ain't that the best Love
the kind that's full of the unsure and the surprise and the effort
to dig, plant
dig, plant
and hope

Student Says

Mrs. Cole sometimes its hard to talk to people
because I talk weird
walk weird
I hope you understand me
Does this make sense, Mrs. Cole?
It's just that my brain is different
Does this sound good, Mrs. Cole?

His hand shakes
waits for me to tell him he's good enough
because to him, I'm good enough

He drinks in the conversation
lived enough of his life in thirst
to savor a kind word

I try not to hate the people
that made him doubt his voice

3.31

there are a thousand ways to be woman
right now I am the kind that knows you are looking
eyes roaming my pages
for your story

3.29

there are a thousand ways to be a woman
or really, only 3

right now i am the maiden
and i am treading
along the edges of your flesh
the winged future nestled in my breast

right now i am the mother
bound to anyone selfish enough
to need me

right now i am the crone
and everything she has lived
and lost

3.28

there are a thousand ways to be a woman

right now i am the kind with dirt in my mouth

the best parts of me live underground

my roots entangled with redwoods and pine

i am silent, steady


there are a thousand ways to be a woman

right now i am the kind that dances fast

waits for the snakes to find my ankles

climb my body

find their way to my head

medusa's daughter


there are a thousand ways to be a woman

right now i am the kind that swallows the earth

waits to feel you all

inside me

Black Out Poems for Mom

3/7/17:

Let it be known
I never wanted y'all
I am broken
in a million ways
I did what was best
for me
I was dying
you remember me on my knees broken
I've said heartless cruelty
I had to leave
BOTH of You
without love
I just want to be happy
I wasn't happy,
but now
me.
me
me
me.
me..
That hurt // will never go away

1/4/18:

I removed you

I'm not going to see who you are

I'm deaf and blind to the manipulation that's happening

I release you

I am the reason love is no longer in your eyes

You are released

I have no love for you

My truth is best for me

Raven, I hurt you and

I will never change 

My Mother Was Here

my mother was here

until she wasn’t

my sister and I search for her

in the hearts of other women

we pass them all by

just ships in the night

we find motherhood in each other instead

when our tongues are heavy with grief

for a mother that has not died

she is gone just the same

I sometimes see my mother looking at me

in the mirror

the pain in her eyes looks so familiar

I trace the lines on her face

feel the sins of a thousand lives settle

onto my shoulders

I tell my mother about the daughters I will never have

how i would have loved them

how I would have taught them the truth of

what the world will ask of you

I tell my mother I love her even though she is gone

and it almost does not matter

that she does not hear me