my mother was here
until she wasn’t
my sister and I search for her
in the hearts of other women
we pass them all by
just ships in the night
we find motherhood in each other instead
when our tongues are heavy with grief
for a mother that has not died
she is gone just the same
I sometimes see my mother looking at me
in the mirror
the pain in her eyes looks so familiar
I trace the lines on her face
feel the sins of a thousand lives settle
onto my shoulders
I tell my mother about the daughters I will never have
how i would have loved them
how I would have taught them the truth of
what the world will ask of you
I tell my mother I love her even though she is gone
and it almost does not matter
that she does not hear me
