Husband draft 3

My husband got music in his blood
Got rhythm in his bones
Got songs in his mouth

Tap tapping on a drum set

a steering wheel

our kitchen table

I hear him

My husband got broken up beats that hide behind his teeth 

His heartbeat is my bass line slash life line when I just don't know if I can deal with this life
he is there

keeping time

Tap tapping on a high hat when I am low

Most days he is is the only thing I can feel
because depression has taken hold of this body

I do not know how to be anyone's metronome

Yet here I am wife, friend, lover

I've come to realize that this love is a song 

and we are the dancers
And just when I think I will fall
this man
he catches me

And I feel the music in his blood
Feel the rhythm in his bones
and taste the songs in his mouth

Husband- draft 2

My husband got music in his blood
Got rhythm in his bones
Got songs in his mouth

Tap tapping on a drum set

On a steering wheel
On our kitchen table

I hear him

My husband got broken up beats that hide behind his teeth 

His heartbeat is my bass line slash life line when I just don't know if I can deal with the shit

he is there, helping me keep time

Tap tapping on a high hat when I am low

Most days his music is all I can feel because depression is fucking chiming in my ear 

I do not know how to be anyone's metronome

Yet here I am wife, lover, friend 

I've come to realize that this love is a song 

and we are the dancers
And just when I think I will fall
His song
His dance
Catches me

And I feel the music in his blood
Feel rhythm in his bones
See songs in his mouth

I hear no church bells- draft 2

Daisies cover the field like waves in an ocean

-crashing down on my eyes in currents of white, yellow, and green

I feel the softness of lace trail down my back to my feet

Orange-gold bracelets clink on my wrist as I reach for his hand

These blue topaz and silver circles sing our fingers electric as we taste this fire that is love and smell this freedom is youth

I give my vows with certainty because I wrote them myself

I hear no church bells but I worship in this open air

on this mountain we bind ourselves
man to woman
woman to man.

Pantome of depression (draft 3)

Depression is a hell of a thing
I lie here, eyes open
Living in a sea of couch cushions and guilt
They ask me if I'm okay

I lie here, eyes open
How numb is too numb?
They ask me if I'm okay
I hold onto my mask

How numb is too numb?
I decide today is the day I get up
I hold onto my mask
I go through the motions

I decide today is the day I get up
A monster lives in my body
I go through the motions
Forever apologizing

A monster lives in my body
Depression is a hell of a thing
Forever apologizing
For living in a sea of couch cushions and guilt

I hear no church bells draft

Daisies covered the field like waves in an ocean
crashing down on my eyes in currents of white and green
I feel the softness of lace trail down my hair to my feet
Rainbow bracelets click on my wrists as I reach for his hand
and I give my vows with certainty because I wrote them myself
I hear no church bells but I worship in this open air
I give thanks to this world
for this man
for this union