Little Sister

Little Sister
Little Fairy child
Little "I'm telling mama"
Little "What are you reading?"
and Little "Can I have it when you're done?"
Little taller sister
but still little sister,
When did you become woman?
When did we become women?

I'm still living in the times when we ate blueberries
and picked all the roses in poppa's garden

Little sister I have watched you find your own way
Never asking for help
One thousand miles,
running from nothing but towards everything

Little sister I think of us standing in front of that scale
battling our demons our own ways
I think of you in running shorts and me in sports bras
I think of shoving caffeine pills down our throats
and thinking we lived in a goddamn devil town
and I think of my silence and your pain
and I wonder how we ever learned to love ourselves.

Little sister I think of how we found solace
and I remember whisper in the halls
and questioning eyes
but little sister I need you to know it wasn't your fault,
children handle things the best they know how
and some handle things better than others
and I'm sorry I wasn't always what you needed
but I was girl becoming woman
and I did things the best I could

Little sister please believe me when I say I wish I could have been more
and still wish I could be
and when you wonder if you are beautiful
know that you are
When you wonder if you are worth it
know that you are
and know that when you felt the touch of hands crossing the boundary of your body,
that you have never been alone

Little sister know that you are loved.